Here's the deal. Losing the dog has completely destroyed me. She was my... well my everything. It's been almost 6 months and I have cried every day.  This horrendous sadness that has now taken over my life is incomprehensible. So as I contemplate what comes next here is where I'm at and where I have been every day since. I would rather die if there is even the slimmest of slim chances that after death I would get to be with her in any kind of fashion I would rather take that risk than stay here with this grief. 

You always here the story of couples who were so madly in love after decades of marriage - one dies and the other soon follows? Well I get it now. You can easily die of grief.